Taking Advantage of the French

To Get More Traveling In...
The French really do disappear for the whole month of August, or at least most of them disappear for most of the month. It's already started. Some of my colleagues are gone and won't reappear for 5 weeks. Officially, the project I'm on goes dark for the two middle weeks of August. So, I'm taking advantage - I am off to Asia to explore with Pingle. First up, to Singapore on August 6th. A few days later, we're off to Hanoi for 4 days. Then, a weekend trip to Melaka, Malaysia (which is a few clicks south of Kuala Lumpur.) Melaka is famed for its food - a cuisine called Peranakan - which is specific to the Chinese who settled in the area. I then have another week in Singapore to do nothing but play golf and relax. (Pingle has to work - wahahahahahahaha.)

How's Your Spanish?

Stumbling Through Another Language...
I was pretty excited to go to a country where I could actually speak the language - or at least that was the idea. I was determined to speak no English while in Spain and almost managed to. Of course, Pingle thought I knew every single word on every single menu and I was good enough to ask questions like "do you have this as a high-heel in mauve in a size 37 1/2?" Of course, I couldn't handle complicated stuff, but overall - not so bad. It's all in the brain somewhere and I think stumbling through French on a daily basis is good practice for not caring that you sound like an idiot.

We did lots more walking around on Saturday evening. Matter of fact, after some shopping on Saturday and Paella for lunch we took a Spanish-sized siesta from about 2-5:30pm. Pingle was all raring to go back out and I warned her - it's TOO early - it's still hot out. But there we were again, back out in the heat, ducking under every shade we could find. Luckily, in Seville they put up shades almost everywhere - like the one below.

In a plaza not far from our hotel we saw a wedding party just leaving the church. It must have been close to 100 degrees and there were the bride and groom, dressed to the nines, standing at the top of the church stairs in the sun waiting patiently as their friends seranaded them with endless song. Their coach waited nearby - the horses looked annoyed and hot.

We made our way to Santa Cruz, the original heart of old Seville. It reminded me a lot of Venice - tightly packed colorful stone housing with alleys so narrow that the sun couldn't force its way in. To walk in those alleys is to experience natural air conditioning - they had to be 20 degrees cooler if not more.

In Santa Cruz we also hit snack paydirt - a place that specializes in churros and hot chocolate called Calenteria.

If you've never had a churro - I feel sorry for you. Not the nasty ones you get in the local fair in the USA, but ones like these. Deep fried dough - dropped into boiling oil only after you order them, tossed in sugar and dipped into a cup of hot, melted chocolate. Yes, this is something worth going to Spain for. I think we ended up coming here 2 or maybe 3 times.

Heading back towards our neck of the woods, near the Giralda, we plotted and mapped out our escape from the sun. We scraped along walls and took turns that brought us further away from our destination, but that was ok, we weren't scorched. Of course, after many blocks of feeling smart in the shade, our chess moves ran out. We had to cross a large open square with no shade and walk along another block that was blazingly hot. I cannot imagine being out in the Seville sun for longer than a few minutes. It brings into absolute clarity the sanity of the afternoon siesta - I will never doubt its logic again.

Just a few hours asleep, out of the heat, under the rumble of air conditioning and you're a new person. You might even pose on the staircase of your suite, flash a peace sign and grin a big smile. At least, that's the effect on some of us....

After Breakfast Nap

Because That's What You're Supposed to Do, Right?
Right after we ate we rubbed our bellies and decided to go back to the hotel for a quick nap. Why? Spanish living, remember? We did manage to navigate around to the plaza behind the cathedral. This expansize, open space proved to be a sun gauntlet later in the afternoon - it throws no shade at all. The buildings on the left are the leading edge of the original settlement - a neighborhood called Santa Cruz which is a maze of small cobblestone streets and tightly woven stone buildings.

Around the other side of the plaza are the outer walls of the Alcazar - a royal palace that was originally a Moorish fort.

We used the Alcazar exterior walls to hide from the sun later in the day, it came quite in handy.

Living Spanish - Style

Cuz We Were Scared of the Sun...
What is living Spanish-style? Simple, avoid the sun and heat at all costs. As I said earlier - the forecast was for the temp to be in the hundreds. This place is deep in the south of Spain, nearer to North Africa than to the rest of Europe and it's a desert, pure and simple. So, do as the Spaniards do - get up early, get stuff done, hide from the sun during the hottest part of the day and then come back out at night. We rose at 7am and went out venturing for some food. As you can see from the photo below, the Spaniards ain't no dummies - they build the buildings close to each other for max shade and even string up shades between the buildings to block the sun.

Seven in the morning proved to be a bit too early for breakfast, nothing was quite open so we strolled around a bit. Turns out, our hotel was smack in the middle of everything. To be honest, "everything" wasn't so much - this is a small city with a huge cathedral near the center that dominates and a small "old town" section. We got a few shots of the cathedral, known as La Giralda just as the morning sun was coming up.

It's a smart looking cathedral, ornate and impressively oversized as compared to its surroundings.

There are signs of Moorish influence all around. The doorways, the windows, the architecture.

After about an hour we made our way back to a cafe called "El Horno San Buenaventura" which roughly translates to the "Oven of St Good Travels." The place has been open since 1385 supposedly - seems kind of a stretch to me. Anyway, I got a plate of eggs with ham and toast. Sounds rather ordinary, doesn't it? Anything but. The eggs were super-fresh with vibrant yellow yolks and the ham was Bellota. They feed the pigs nothing but a diet of acorns to make this ham. It is divine. After breakfast - back to the hotel for a short siesta.

Sevilla - Day One

Warm Arrival
After a quick 2 hr flight and no immigration or customs (we flew from one European country to another) we were in a cab headed towards downtown. As we passed a lit-up stadium I asked the cabbie what was going on. "Sevilla versus Juve" came the reply, which I found hard to believe. But it was true - Juventus was in town for some European cup match and were still playing late at night - it was close to 10:30pm. We arrived at our hotel, dropped luggage and I convinced Pingle to go out for a bite. Just two blocks from our hotel we found a small tapas bar called Bodeguita Romero. I ordered some fish croquettes and Pingle got an order of fried prawn fritters (tortilla de camarones.) I liked mine but she didn't like hers so she tried again with an order of shrimps wrapped in potato threads. That one was a winner.

We then went wandering across the river and found a lively fair. There was plenty of drinking and partying going on. There was an official "fair wine" but we didn't try it until the next day. We simply walked around and took in the sights and sounds.

As you might expect in Spain, there was live music. We stopped near a stage at the end of the bridge to take in some singing. An older lady was belting out a typically tragic song about her lover leaving her for a younger woman, or something like that. I tried to take some video footage but I don't think you can make out much. After a while the sleepiness began to hit. We made our way back to the hotel and dropped into a deep sleep.

Trip Upcoming!

And It's Gonna Be Hot

This weekend Puffin and I are going to Sevilla in southern Spain. We're celebrating being together for a year. Or, as I look at it, I am celebrating the fact that she's not completely sick of me yet. Anyway, what kind of idiot books a trip to Sevilla in mid-summer? The weather forecast is for the low 100's during the day. Yep, I'm a dummy. We're gonna have to live like Spaniards - hang out late at night while it's cool, take a few hrs sleep, get up early to eat breakfast, take a long siesta and start it all over again the next day. I look forward to dusting off my Spanish, doing some sightseeing and eating some good Spanish food. I will definitely have some Paella (a dish or saffron rice with all kinds of seafood added.) We leave Friday night and get back Sunday night.

American Commercials

The Distance Only Makes em Scarier
I do a pretty good job avoiding all commercials. I think commercials and the people who make them are lower than crustaceans. This, of course, makes my working for an advertising agency all the more ironic. Anyway, here I am in Paris with my laptop wired up to the tv so I can watch American television, especially golf. The downside? I don't have a remote. This makes avoiding commercials difficult since I'm usually too lazy to get up and fast forward on my laptop - a delicate operation.

They're even scarier when you've been away from them for a spell. Based on a few hrs of watching, everyone in America is a pill-popping, overweight, debt-riddled depressive who needs to be told what to eat every time he opens his mouth. The ads for various and sundry drugs for weight-loss, depression and male "enhancement" cascaded across the screen. Puffin was next to me and it was embarrasing, truth be told. What a strange country America has become.

Centime, RIP?

The French Got One Thing Right...
I've come to realize over time that you rarely get any centimes (pennies) as change in Paris. Why? Simple - if something is priced to two decimals, the second decimal is either a 5 or zero. Now that I think about it, the second decimal is almost always a zero. That implies that soon the smallest coin will be 10 centimes. Was all this done on purpose? I doubt it - it shows how expensive things are here. What can you get for a centime? Nothing. What can you get for 100 centimes - almost nothing. Ok, you can get a pretty good croissant for 90 centimes still, but that cannot possible last for long. Good riddance annoyingly small, useless coins!! America - get rid of the penny!

Incompetence a la Francaise

It Must be a Recent Phenomenon...
One is surrounded by beauty in Paris. Beautiful architecture, beautiful food, attention to detail like shown in this front door carving. But really, it's beauty from another era - this is a city coasting on its past. There is no evidence in the current populace of their being the progeny of those who built this city. Today there is incompetence all around. Just on my recent trip back I encountered a year's worth. First, Air France gave our seats away because we were "late" checking in. Truth is, we were at the counter with plenty of time but waited forever to check in due to Air France having only enough counter agents to serve 5 people per hour. Pingle had to go bargain for the seats to be returned, which was only accomplished because a young lady was nice enough to move her seat.

When we arrived, our two checked bags didn't. "Don't worry, we'll deliver them" said Air France, just give us your address and be home between 3pm and 6pm." When I got home, I went to the ATM to withdraw some Euros. In goes the ATM card - then nothing.... The machine ate it. I pulled on the front door of the bank to complain, but of course - they're closed - it's Monday - banks are closed on Monday.

At 5:55pm the phone rang, it was Air France "we'll bring your luggage tomorrow between 8am and Noon." Another call the next morning "do you mind if we bring the bags betweeen 10am and 2pm?" At 1pm some Air France idiot showed up with one of the two bags, but guess what - it was not either of our bags. An hour later he showed up with one bag. My golf clubs came on the third delivery attempt. So, 48 hrs after our arrival we had our bags.....

I arranged for a new ATM card to be delivered to my office. Citibank was sending one express delivery - they told me to expect it to be delivered by Thursday. On Thursday I asked an admin at work if they'd received it. "Oh yes, a package came in for you yesterday!" Great, I responded, where is it? "Bon, Monsieur, that is another question entirely...." So, it came in the day before, they didn't bother to tell me and then they lost it. On Friday morning, I asked again. "It went to another building, give us 2 hrs to go get it." Two hours later they told me they'd lost track again and suggested I call my bank and start over which I did. Just as I hung up the phone with Citibank, in jogs the French idiot with the Fedex, he had a proud smile on his face like he'd just invented time travel. I wanted to bludgeon him to death with something heavy.

So, it is one week now with no ATM card. I guess another will arrive soon but I have no confidence that I will get it. These are simple things that I am complaining about. These people should be ashamed of what they've become - everything that is good about this country is hundreds of years old. Even the wine and bread, which are stellar, are most likely recipes developed and fine tuned centuries ago. Today's drones slavishly follow them to the letter - there is no invention, no creativity, no spark, no ambition.

If It Weren't for Bad Luck...

I Wouldn't Have Any Luck at All
Crazy week last week luck-wise. It all started with the flight out of Paris into NY. We were cruising along, no problems when all of a sudden, as we were making our descent into Kennedy, we took a hard right-hand turn. Turns out there were severe thunderstorms and we had to take a side-trip to Boston and wait on the ground for 3 hrs before making our way into NY. An 8 hr trip turned into 16. Then, today we landed in Paris and our luggage didn't. It will be delivered later today, supposedly. To top it all off - I went to use my ATM card at my local ATM in Paris and the machine ate my card. I had to call Citibank and answer 22 security questions to get another one mailed to me....

Someone's Famous

Free Breakfast as a Result
The first day back in the BK, Pingle and I headed over to Victory for breakfast. I sat outside as she went in to put in our order. The usual - two coffees and a bialy toasted with butter and cream cheese on the side. The owner took a look at her and asked "Are you Puff?" Caught her totally off guard. She answered yes and the gig was up. The owner was familiar with the Puff List and liked the write up of his establishment. He came out and thanked me for the post, told me it was his and his wife's favorite write-up. At the end of breakfast we attempted to pay but he refused the money. Puffin is a star!! The best part - she only ordered a coffee - wahahahahahahahaaaaa. What a waste....